Share 'critiscise me'

I wrote this in like 5 minutes last night, i have yet to revise it but instead have decided to realse it in it's raw form and open for critiscism A man amongst treasures, Rubies which shine like the stars. A man within pleasures, Discarding her bra's. A man without ration, Crumbs on the floor. A man locked in passion, Begging for more. A man knows his will, It is seldom wrong. A man earns his th…